


Not Strong Enough

by BlaCkreed4



Series: Maritombola 2020 [4]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Inspired by Music, Introspection, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28342812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaCkreed4/pseuds/BlaCkreed4
Summary: Logan knew, rationally, that Victor was an asshole. He knew that his boyfriend was bad company, even if he had realized it just recently. And he knew he should just break up with him and run as far away as possible from him.But the problem was, he couldn't.
Relationships: Victor Creed/Logan
Series: Maritombola 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054895
Kudos: 7
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Not Strong Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Written for:  
> -Lande di Fandom's "Maritombola", prompt: 44 - Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica  
> -Banned Together Bingo, prompt: sympathetic villain  
> If you're wondering: yes, I made myself cry while writing XD

Logan knew, rationally, that Victor was an asshole. He knew that his boyfriend was bad company, even if he had realized it just recently. And he knew he should just break up with him and run as far away as possible from him.

But the problem was, he couldn't. He couldn't just leave him like that, not after everything they went through, not knowing that he was probably the only person he could relate to.

They had both been loners and outcasts, considered more animals than men, judged and condemned by everyone just for being... different.

They had bonded as soon as they had met, burning every step of a relationship and basically living in symbiosis. And it had worked, it had worked perfectly for them for years, both of them seizing the day as if it could be their last, their job with team X not giving them much chance of building a normal life.

But it was not enough for Logan anymore. He didn't know how or when, but they were getting more different every day, with him trying to be a man and suppress his animalistic side, while Victor had completely embraced his and acted on his whims more often than not.

But Logan couldn't just leave him like that, he knew that his boyfriend was a man too, that he was perfectly capable of controlling himself and be a better person just like he was trying his best to be.

He had tried talking to him, to make him reason, to change his mind, but all he had obtained was Victor's retorts about how he should be more like him and embrace his wildest instincts.

And Logan couldn't argue with that. He couldn't because he understood his point, and he cared too much about him to stay mad with him. And he couldn't leave him.

He couldn't because when he was with Victor he could be himself without restraints, he could drop the tough façade he wore every day, he could give up his self-control and let him take the reins.

He couldn't because with him he felt no shame in being himself.

He couldn't because he loved him too much.

He couldn't because he feared he could never find someone else.

He couldn't because he felt enchained to him, and he wasn't strong enough to break them.

He couldn't because every time he looked into his boyfriend's yellow eyes, every time he heard him call his name, he couldn't help but fall on his knees and unbuckle his belt.

None of them had ever been good with words, but they had never needed them to understand each other. For them a brief hand gesture had always been more than enough, a casual touch had more meaning than a thousand words, and a glance meant even more.

And Logan wasn't strong enough to resist, he would always fall for him, he would always respond positively to the silent words lingering between them.

And he knew it was wrong to cling to him like that, to ache for his touch every time they spent more than a few hours apart, to want to run back to him every time he was too far.

But his heart could hear no reason, it couldn't submit to his mind, it couldn't even take it into consideration.

And that situation was tearing him apart, he couldn't stop thinking about it, not even when Victor came back from a mission covered in blood and he wondered how many people he had killed and how many wounds he had healed from.

And he could do nothing but half-smile back to him and follow him to their room, where his boyfriend got rid of his tattered uniform and took a shower, he could do nothing but hold his breath when he emerged from the bathroom naked and wet and excited, he could only fall on his knees like he always did and cover his boyfriend's dick with attentions.

He could still smell blood on him, he could still smell gunpowder and adrenaline, he could feel his strength and tiredness when he grabbed his hair to pull him closer, he could hear his sigh and his heartbeat fasten, he could see his face and body relax.

How could he leave him when he needed him the most, when he needed someone to relate to, someone who would understand without judging?

But Logan still couldn't shut the logic part of his brain that told him he needed to, and at the same time he couldn't shut his heart that yearned for his lover's touch, for his gaze, for his everything.

And even when Victor thrust deep inside his throat and threatened to choke him he couldn't help but feel warmth spread through his chest and his heart flutter for the grunt that came out of his boyfriend's lips as he came in his mouth.

And he swallowed as always, licking him clean before standing up on his tiptoes to kiss him.

He couldn't suppress a shiver of excitement when he tasted blood, even if his mind screamed that it was wrong, that it should horrify him instead of giving him pleasure.

He knew that, of course he did, but just the thought of leaving those lips was unbearable, it tore his heart apart, and it hurt too much.

He let Victor push him on the bed, crawling on top of him and spreading his legs to thrust inside him.

Logan hissed in pain when his boyfriend's huge dick forced his hole to open up, but his own dick twitched in excitement for it.

Pain had always made them both feel alive, the rush of adrenaline clearing their minds and helping them focus on the important things, just like pleasure; they had always mixed it with their sex lives, biting and scratching each other until they drew blood, blowing off steam, venting their aggression and anger, their instincts unleashed and taking control.

They moaned in pleasure and gasped in pain, panting in effort and growling in need. They pulled each other's hair and thrust their hips towards one another, moving like one and connecting once more.

Logan always felt complete when they had sex, as if the missing piece of his puzzle was finally in its place, and the thought of leaving Victor and never feel it again was terrifying.

Not even his orgasm could shut the conflict inside him for more than a few seconds, until he felt his boyfriend fill him up and collapse on top of him.

He panted and hugged the other, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths to calm his pounding heart.

They both groaned when Victor pulled out and rolled aside, and Logan couldn't help but turn towards him and hug him again, intertwining their fingers; even those few centimetres of distance were unbearable for his aching heart.

He knew it was wrong, he knew that if he didn't make up his mind soon it would only worse, but he couldn't leave him, he just couldn't.

He wasn't strong enough to stay away from him.


End file.
